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  • Devika Gupta

24 Yards

And so I walked in a haze

Light like the wind,

Heavy as a wave.

I walked by everything that preceded me

Along everything that followed.

I traced every path, graced every ground

Where I left a trail, an unapologetic mark

Places I didn’t have reason to go to

Faces I shouldn’t have held so close.

I revisited every grave I sealed shut

Ripping up every bone from the gravel.

And just like that, I was faced with the fabric of my existence –

Woven indelicately by me, by my destiny

I had questions but I was immune too long, had scars that never hurt. Not once.

I had an ignition to keep walking

But my heart pounded heavily.

My mind directed me, yet again

To chase a worthier world

One that already had its home and heath in my head, that which I never found my welcome in.

And so I walked on,

For every step I found caution,

Every aspiration was deemed a mistake.

But while the most pristine, carefully crafted drops of confidence were set ablaze, I treaded backwards.

Away from the merrier glow of dawn towards the grimmer, albeit inviting twilight.

I treaded down that road to don the same fabric

That I had the privilege to sew.

A design I had toiled to birth, still gleaming in the lustre of my sweat

Vibrant in the blood of my inexperienced hands.

And now I walk back, bringing with me my burden. A burden of love, an upholstery of truths

A repository of my identity.

And I carry with me nothing else but a dare –

To my mind, to my demons

To trample over us.

I give you all my 24 yards

Tear it if you can.

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